Third time’s a charm

I’ll start off right now by saying that this post may contain some content that some people may find offensive.  If you object to frank discussions of sexuality go ahead and cruise on to the next blog now.

I have been on anti-depressants for the last 5-6 years.  I have experienced side effects from time to time, but none more frustrating and all consuming then the sexual side effects of lack of libido, inability to achieve an erection, and most of all, inability to achieve orgasm.  I made the decision in April to ween myself off of the meds.  In an attempt to preserve my own sanity in this process I’m moving very slowly.  While undertaking this process, I’ve been “patiently” waiting for the side effects to subside!

I’m single, I live alone and I don’t date and still nothing can make me feel like less of a man/a bigger failure than the inability to accomplish one of the most natural pleasures that there is.  I don’t want to be single.  I don’t want to live alone forever, and I do want to date.  But first, I have to overcome this weakness in my anatomy.

Since I started this blog earlier this week.  I’ve felt a  renewed sense of self.  I’ve felt closer to being able to accept who I am.  And, as strange as it may be, I’ve felt more sexual!  On both Monday and Tuesday nights, I’ve capped off the day by popping in a little porn and giving myself the kind of sexual satisfaction that I am not currently getting from any other source.  Two nights in a row now.  If all goes as planned, tonight will make three.  Seems like a start of a good winning streak to me!

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