She Forgot her Plate!

I promised to explain the “Breastplate” name I used for CPA Sis’s former boyfriend in my previous post. 

The year after CPA Sis graduated from High School, she was dating a guy who attended the local Christian University in Tulsa.  He came over to the house quite frequently and on a few occasions had stayed too late and was too tired to drive back to the dorm so he’d spend the night on our couch.

On one particular Saturday morning after he’d spent the night, Vengeful Mother took the four of us to breakfast at a now defunct restaurant called Shoney’s.  Shoney’s big draw was that they had a really nice breakfast buffet for a really reasonable price.  Breastplate was the last one back to the table with his plate and was looking for butter for his muffin or pancakes or arteries, or something.  He assumed the butter would be on the table.  Logical assumption but wrong none the less. 

Breastplate went back to the buffet looking for butter and after a couple minutes came back to the table, butter in hand (so to speak.)  When asked where he found it, he said that it was hard to find because “It was covered by a plate under neath the cleavage.”

You can imagine we all stared at him in stunned silence, vengeful mother in particular.  It took several seconds for us to realize that what he meant to say was that it was covered by the FOLIAGE that they use to cover the ice around the containers in the buffet set up.

A few months later, Breastplate, CPA Sis, Ex-Con Older Brother, another friend of CPA Sister and I went to see the second Back to the Future movie.  When Lorraine Tannen showed upon the screen for the first time, the friend leaned over to me and said, “She forgot her plate.”

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