Cast of Characters

Most of these should speak for themselves, but for the initiated or the otherwise confused, here is a list of the people you’ll find mentioned in my posts:

1 ) Dead Beat Dad:  My father who abandoned his family when I was two years old only to shack up with and eventually marry the woman that he cheated on my mother with.  It’s been a long hard road with this man and there are a lot of unexplored feelings about him, mostly negative, but I’m tyring to put it behind me and learn to have a relationship with him in the hear and now.  Some day the character name may be changed, but for the time being…

2 )  Scornful Mother, formerly known as Vengeful Mother aka Vengeful Grandma: I imagine it goes without saying that this is my mother, the woman who raised me.  There are a lot of repressed feelings about her as well.  She was never able to give me the kind of love and support that I needed.  She’s emphatically Christian and if you don’t agree with her point of view then you’re just plain wrong.  My relationship with her these days is very superficial.  I can’t discuss anything that really matters with her because she’ll just judge and criticize me.  For now at least, I’m not strong enough to stand on my own and not allow her words and actions to hurt me, so I maintain a safe distance and keep things simple.  I realized I was misusing the term “Vengeful” all this time.  Scornful Mother is not bent on or motivated by revenge.  She does however express considerable contempt or scorn for the things she views as wrong.  Thus Scornful is a more fitting moniker.

3 )  CPA Sis; aka CPA Sister:  My one and only female sibling.  She’s three years older than I, lives in New York, has a husband and two daughters.  She’s my closest (emotionally) relative.  But I kind of feel like I have to be careful what I tell her, sometimes.  Working on that one.  I’m sure there’ll be more to say about her as time goes on.

4 )  Ex Con Older Brother: My only male sibling.  Five years older, he resented (hated?) me most of our childhood.  He was put in the unfortunate position of having to be responsible for me when Vengeful Mother wasn’t present and he was much too young for such expectations.  By today’s standards his treatment of me would be considered physical abuse and either he, or I, or both would have been removed from Vengeful Mother’s care by the state by now.  ECOB has always been looking for the quick buck and a few years ago he took up selling drugs.  In June of 2006 he was sentenced to one year in prison.  He got out in June 2007 and has been living on and off with Dead Beat Dad ever sense.  His girlfriend is pregnant and will be giving birth to my third niece in September.  They are in the midst of an on again/off again relationship and ECOB is having emotional issues regarding the pregnancy and the baby and his desire to be a proper dad.

5 ) M&M*; aka Green M&M*; aka Green*: My closest friend in Sunny California, and the woman I was roommates with for 6 years.  Explaining my relationship with her would be too damn hard.  We’ve been close friends for 10 years and most people think there’s more to our relationship than there really is.

6 )  Unsvelt Girl who Runs*: This is a co-worker who I am also friends with (See also, Majority and The Tag-along)  I have a weird friendship with this person.  She’s negative all the time, and often annoys me, but I also care about her and I want to see her live a happy and healthy life.  I’m just not so sure that’s what she wants.

7 )  Majority*: Majority is Unsvelt Girl’s pseudo husband.  They’ve been together for about 11 years but are not and never will get married.  Majority has a condition called Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva (FOP).  Look here for more info.  Majority receives certain benefits and financial support from the state that he would not get if he were married to an able bodied person who “could support him.”  As far as the government knows, Unsvelt Girl is his caretaker and room mate, and nothing more.  Majority is very physically dependant on Unsvelt Girl who Runs and so they have an understanding between them.  Generally speaking Majority has the final say on things, as in “Majority Rules.”

8 )  The Tag-Along*: This is Unsvelt Girl’s long time friend from Arizona who moved to California a couple years ago.  TTA and I aren’t actually friends and there will be very little reference to her in this blog but she often comes as part of the social package with Unsvelt Girl and Majority, so there you go.

9 )  TV Addicted Mom*: Another work friend.  I don’t really socialize outside of work with her much, and we don’t talk a whole lot while at work, and yet somehow we bonded and we are friends.

10 )  Her Royal Awesomeness* formerly known as Eve* formerly known as Center o’ the Universe*: This is actually my closest, dearest friend in the world.  She’s the first person I told I was gay, and the only person I knew exactly how would react.  She lives in Oklahoma and I barely ever get to see or talk to her, but every year she comes to California to visit her grandparents during Thanksgiving week.  I have a very special connection to Eve and feel really good when we’re together.  It took me a long time to acknowledge and “accept” that I’m gay, and yet in spite of that, I still view her as the love of my life.  By the way, Eve will be the first to tell you that “it’s all about me.” and while I wish I was more clever, for the moment Eve, as in “All About Eve” is the best I can come up with and much nicer than the previous alias.

11 ) Douche Bag; aka DB: My manager.  A man I looked up to when I started working for him six long years ago.  Recently I came to hate him, and now I desperately seek an out so that I won’t have to deal with him any more.

12 )  Country Dumbkin; aka CD: A passive aggressive windbag who works in my office.  She’s old.  She grew up in the country in Arkansas.  She’s stupid.  And I LOVE a good play on words.  She treats Unsvelt Girl badly and the two of them have a hate but pretend to like/hate but pretend to like, relationship.  There’s nothing but tension and anger in the office and it’s come to be a VERY toxic environment.  I won’t miss this one any either.

13 )  Scared Kitty*:  My cat.  He’s 16 years old.  I found him as an abandoned cat when he was about 10 weeks old.  He’s very skittish of strangers and he hides whenever someone comes to the apartment…  Including me.  When I walk in the door I call out, “Hi, scared kitty!”

12 )  Presumed Dead Hippie: Dead Beat Dad’s younger brother.  To the best of my knowledge he hit the road right after high school never to be heard from again.  He has one son who’s mother located my grandparents when the child was a toddler, but no one knows where my Uncle is, or if he’s even alive.  I suspect he is not.

13 )  Hardworking Homemaker: Dead Beat Dad’s sister.  A wonderful woman, for whom I have great affection.  Sadly, I just do not know her well enough to accurately sum her up in a few snappy words.  She has had an “Esthetology”(?) business in her home for years.  She has raised two children, the younger of which has just started college and may well turn up on a professional football field near you very soon.  She’s been married for a gazillion years to an awesome guy who runs a private therapy practice.  Hopefully one of these days I’ll come up with a snappier moniker but for now, this will have to do.

14 )  Mr. Fixit: Formerly known as Jack O’ All Trades, aka JOAT, aka Jack, formerly known as Mr. Mom.  CPA Sister’s husband.  He doesn’t work, at least not formally.  He fancies himself a jack of all trades and often takes on contract work (mostly construction) that often ends up costing CPA Sister money, instead of bringing money into the family.  Unfortunately, the latest “trade” Jack has taken upon himself, is to home school my nieces.  Mr. Fixit is learning disabled and dyslexic.  I’m hoping they determine very quickly that this plan will not work and put the poor girls into public school.

15 ) Wheeler Dealer Landlady: Obviously, this is my landlord.  She owns the duplex I live in.  It was on September 1, 2007 that I moved into my current apartment.  When I met with Wheeler Dealer we discussed my “regrettably pink bathroom” then and she proposed that if I wanted the bathroom “de-pinked” we could discuss that and she’d be willing to do that if I split the cost with her.  A year later, I’m paying her an extra $200.00 a month until June ’09, for my share.  A couple of ideas have come up since that agreement that would, of course, cost additional money.  She has been in favor of most of them, but I’ve noticed a trend.  “I like that idea.  Want to split it down the middle with me?”  8-|  No more down the middle splitting!  I can’t afford anything more!  I AM renting after all!!  Dispite how it sounds, I do truly like Wheeler Dealer Landlady, and I image I’ll be living in my home for at least a few more years.  Gotta get my money’s worth of the renovation after all.

16 ) Adorable Little Contractor:  The gentleman who is doing the work to remodel my bathroom.  I imagine, I’ll never see him again after this project is done.  He’s pretty quiet and keeps to himself.  There are reason’s to believe that he knows I’m gay.  There is a book called The Homo Handbook sitting out on my coffee table that I made no effort to hide or put away (kinda proud of myself on that point.)

Anyway, I’m not sure that the fact that I’m gay would have any impact on him, but he is very quiet and doesn’t seem to have a whole lot to say to me.  I did glean from a brief conversation on the first day that he is part of a “we”.  That doesn’t change the fact that I find him attractive.

17 ) Fantastical Engineer: The Chief Engineer at my office building and a really nice guy.  He and I are friends first and foremost, but I have always thought he was very nice looking.  I really enjoy him, and I do find him attractive.  Since I’ve had to take a couple showers in the office building recently during my bathroom transformation, I have had a few opportunities to fantasize about him a bit more.

18 ) Yellow M&M aka. Yellow: Green’s sister.  Both of their initials are MNM so using the “M&M” as a clever reference only works so well.  So I had to find a way to differentiate.  Yellow, is just about the only other member of Green’s family I enjoy being around.  Their stepfather is pretty nice, but he’s a little old, quiet man who doesn’t  go anywhere without their mother who I can’t tolerate.  So my exposure to Yellow is pretty limited.

19 )  Batman:  My best friend in high school.  At the time I thought we were just good friends and that I enjoyed spending time with him.  Now that I’ve come to accept my homosexuality, I realize I was in love with him.  That love was doomed from the start and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the loss of that friendship but I try to move on.  Sometimes I dream about him and every once in a while in my dreams, he tells me that he’s left his family and that he is gay too and that he loves me.  A feller can dream…  Even if that is a bad dream.  I never want to come between a man and his family…  Though I guess if I didn’t break them up then it’s all good…

20 ) Precious Niece #1:  This is CPA Sis and Mr. Fixit’s first child.  She was born November 5, 2002.  I was the first person to get to bottle feed her after CPA Sis had Pancreatic Gall Stones(?) and while she was so sick, she stopped producing milk.  I happened to be holding 6 week old PN1 when the pediatric nurse showed up at the ER with the formula.  She slapped a nipple on top of the bottle and handed it to me.  Vengeful Mother was very displeased not to get to be first and she reached over and held the end of the bottle.  It’d be easy for me to take that personally like she didn’t think I was doing it right, even though I had already made sure that there was no air getting into the nipple and even though PN1’s mother and the nurse both had nothing to say about the way I was doing it, but instead I choose to chalk it up to jealousy and her desire to get in on the action since it was a first for her first granddaughter.

I was uninspired when I learned that CPA Sis was pregnant.  My family isn’t exactly close and I barely new my Aunt growing up, but when I saw PN1, I was sunk.  Hopefully, PN2 will never know but secretly PN1 holds a special place in my heart.

21 ) Precious Niece #2:  This is CPA Sis and Mr. Fixits second (and to date, last) child.  she was born August 12, 2004.  I never got to see PN2 until she was already two years old.  She still hadn’t really started talking.  There’s nothing wrong with her, mentally speaking.  It’s just that PN1 did all the talking for her, so there was no need.  Instead she grunted at people.  Not especially charming.  She’s a cute kid and, of course, I love her, but PN1 still has my heart.

22 ) Gigi the Home Wrecker:  Dead Beat Dad’s second wife.  Gigi was one of Dead Beat Dad’s employees in his old City Directory office in Cincinnati, OH (When I was a child and still learning to speak, I called it “City Didectdody”  When I was still a toddler DBD took up with this woman and their affair eventually destroyed my parents marriage and my family unit.  Eventually they married and have been together for well over 20 years, but it’s difficult not to find fault with her even now.

23 ) Insightful Therapist*:  This pretty much speaks for itself.  I’ve been working with my therapist for over two years now.  I would like to have been farther along in my process and a healthier person by now, but whatever.

24 ) Captain Oblivious: This is Douche Bag’s immediate Supervisor.  He’s made a really good showing of not being involved in his subordinates worlds, so much so that he doesn’t know any of the problems that exist or the in-fighting that goes on and when forced to face these issues head on, usually makes a comment along the lines of “Well, figure it out.” or “Deal with it.”

* Those with an asterisk by their names are aware of my sexual orientation.

This list is by no means all inclusive, and may be changed or recreated at any time at the author’s discretion.

One Response

  1. 😦 There are so few with an asterisk 😦
    that really sucks!

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