But Don’t You See I’m Halfway Over the Hill I’m Passin’ Over the Hardest Part I’m Halfway Over the Hill It’s Gotta Get Easier From Now On

Unsvelt Girl Who Runs:     “The Majority” sucks.

Self: Why?

UGWR: Because he was pointing out that the 80s were, like, 30 years ago.

Self: <rolls eyes>  The Majority sucks.

UGWR: See.  I told you!

Self: And he’s wrong.  1989 was only 20 years ago!  And that makes all the difference…  Right?

UGWR: Not really.

Self: (Damn)  Besides, The Majority was born in 1969.  And if the 80’s were 30 years ago then the 60’s were 50 years ago and that makes him really old!

UGWR: <Thinks this over>

Self: So see!  So tell him that!

UGWR: smile

Self: And then say, “See!  So….  Nyeh!”   😛

I Have a Love/Hate Relationship with My iPhone.

When the iPhone first came out, I scoffed at the whole thing.  The lines, the outrageous price tag, the low capacity, the having everything in one device, everything.  Majority got one when they first came out and Unsvelt Girl Who Runs went on and on about how cool they were (but she didn’t get one).  I already had a 60G iPod that I’d gotten a year earlier and a cell phone that was old and worn out and needed to be replaced but didn’t have to cost $500.00 to do so.  I just didn’t think it made sense to buy an iPhone.

And then HE came in.  He is beautiful.  Must be nearly seven feet tall, but might as well be 20.  Slim, rugged good looks, soothing soft spoken voice and noticeably lacking in the abject pretension that I’ve grown accustomed to dealing with in my company.  Also, he’s black, so if the stereotype holds…  Perhaps I’d never go back.  And again, he has children, (I assume a wife) and he’s probably straight as a rule– well, a yard stick.  None the less, the day get’s a little brighter when he walks in the door.  He works for our in-house construction “company” and is, therefor, someone I deal with regularly. (Sidebar:  Hmmm.  Fantastical Engineers, Adorable Little Contractors and Beautiful Construction Workers!  I seem to like the rugged ones don’t I?  Don’t know what that’s about…  Anyway!)

The first conversation I ever remember having with him was about his iPhone.  He had an iPod Nano attached to his shirt, and an iPhone in his pocket.  We discussed the fact that he doesn’t put his music on his iPhone.  “Then what’s the point,” I wondered.  He told me how he’d dropped his first iPhone down an elevator shaft, and though he had paid so much money for it, and though they don’t offer replacement plans for them he “had” to have another one.  And then he let me play with it.

Nice as it might be, there was no double entendre there. I played with his iPhone for a few minutes.  After that, I was hooked.  That very day I ran out, with my “new cell phone fund” and bought my very own 16G iPhone.  I couldn’t wait to get it home and activate it and load it up and have my new functioning iPhone.  Activation was a piece of cake.  I had my phone service switched to the new phone in less than 10 minutes.  I love my iPhone.  The music on the other hand was a nightmare. I hate my iPhone.

I started to sync my music and it was dragging.  Taking several seconds for each song.  It loaded about 300 songs (I have over 3000) and it errored out.  I hate my iPhone.  I restarted it and it picked up where it left off.  This time it ws going faster (I love my iPhone) but it still was taking hours.  When I finally gave up to go to bed, I found that it still had about 800 songs to go.  I left it to finish and I went to bed. I hate my iPhone.

Out of my 300+ albums, my iTunes has located album art for all but about 12-15 of them.  I was looking forward to listening to my new iPhone, and enjoying the larger view of the album art and the “cover flow” feature.  Imagine my dismay when I picked up my phone the next morning and found that only the first 300 songs had album art and all the rest of the albums had the “no art” graphic of the music notes. I love my iPhone.  I hate my iPhone.

I had no time to deal with it, I had to go to work.  I would try again that evening.  That evening the exact same thing happened.  This time I was determined to babysit it!  I was awake until after 2:00 in the morning, only to find that the exact same scenario played out again.  I hate my iPhone.  So I did what any one would do.  I called in sick to work so I could fix it.  🙂 Any excuse not to go to work.  I love my iPhone!

I ended up having to uncheck all the music in my library and then recheck them a group at a time (I did alphabetically) and sync it and then resync it and then re-resync it, over and over again until I had all the music on my iPhone with the album art.  I hate my iPhone.  It took a lot of jumping through hoops to do it but once it was set up it was great and I loved my new iPhone. I was even rational enough to know that I was dealing with an Apple product and it was only a matter of time before something bigger and better (and cheaper) came out.  This was in April.  I didn’t know then about the 3G model, but I knew it was only a matter of time…

So it came as no surprise when I heard about the “twice as fast for half the price” 16G iPhone 3G.  And then I found out about the 2.0 version of the software for my archaic iPhone.  It’s new and exciting! Of course I had to load it up!

I did not know that this new software would wipe my iPhone clean and then take hours to load.  This was yet another overnight endeavor.  I hate my iPhone.  But when it was done all my music was there, and I had the Apps store!  I lay in bed for three hours that Saturday morning, surfing the apps store, and loading every free application I thought I might even be sort of interested in, I could always delete them later if I wanted to.  I love my iPhone.  Downloading software version 2.0 was the worst thing I’ve ever done with my iPhone.  It’s just been one problem after another!  I hate my iPhone!

A month or two ago, there was an update to the software.  Version 2.0.2.  I went ahead and downloaded that because it must only be an improvement, right?  Now my updates won’t download.  The Apps store tells me there are updates and right now I have this lovely little red circle with a white 5 in it hovering over the corner of my Apps Store button.  But if I try to install the updates it tells me that I’ve already “purchased” this application and that if I’m having trouble downloading the App, I should select “check for purchases” in iTunes.  I hate my iPhone.  When I follow these instructions I get an error message from iTunes telling me that some of my Applications couldn’t load because there was an “unknown error”.  I’ve gotten this message before, and the number of applications not loading properly is growing.  I hate my iPhone.

So last night, for the third or fourth time, I connected my iPhone to my computer to try and resolve this issue with iTunes.  For the second time, iTunes reflected the 10+G of music I have as “other”.  I disconnected my iPhone from my computer and went into the iPod function.  “You have not loaded any music.” it says. (I’m sure I’m paraphrasing.)  Bullshit I didn’t load any music.  I don’t have 12G of “other” on here.  So I had to restore my iPhone.  I hate my iPhone. I have had to “restore” my iPhone on three separate occasions, and the only good thing I can say is that the first two times my music reloaded with no issues.  (I love my iPhone?)

I started the restore process on my iPhone last night at around 5:30 p.m.  iTunes loaded about 300 songs and errored out.  I looked in iPod and the music was there but with no album art.  I restarted the sync and it picked up where it left off.  I hate my iPhone.  I went to bed at 12:30 a.m. and it was still syncing.  I hate my iPhone.  I got up at 7:00 this morning and looked at my computer.  No longer syncing.  I wasn’t sure if it was done or not so I restarted the sync and it started loading music again.  It had over 800 of my over 3000 songs to load.  I walked away and started my morning routine.  When I left for work at 8:20 it had only loaded about 120 songs.  I had to manually stop it so I could leave.  I hate my iPhone.

Ironically, all the music it loaded in my second attempt last night, and my third attempt this morning does have album art.  I love my iPhone a little bit.  The first three hundred songs however, have no album art.  I’ll have to uncheck those albums resync my phone, let it delete those albums and sync the last 700+ songs and then recheck those albums and resync it again!  If all goes well, it’ll load all the remaining music and all the album art that goes with it.  If all does not go well, I may pull a Russell Crowe and throw my iPhone at the head of one of the “Geniuses”.  I hate my iPhone.

For those of you keeping score at home, there are far more hates than there are loves.  But at $500.00, I better love the hell out of my iPhone.

The truth is, I love my iPhone.  I really love the concept of my iPhone.  And if and when they get all these bugs worked out, I will petition the state of California for a marriage license for me and my iPhone.  But until that happens, my iPhone is my bitch!  It complicates my life.  It’s uncooperative.  It points and laughs at me.  And it tells me that I’ll never be truely happy.

Come to think of it, I think I am my iPhone’s bitch.

Bathroom Transformation Day Four – Now THAT’S What I Call Progress!

Major progress today!  Remember this?

Today, it looks like this. 

Dry wall is in, tile is up, and grouted.  Tomorrow it gets sealed and tomorrow night the shower should be whole.  My only concern is that the issue of the shower curtain rod has not been resolved.  Since my shower only has two walls instead of three, I need a shower curtain rod that turns and covers the other two sides.  Wheeler Dealer Landlady was saying she’d probably have to have one custom fabricated and in the meantime I can just keep using the one that was already here.  That’s fine, except that if the mounting mechanism is different in anyway, then there could end up being extraneous holes in the new marble tile, and that would be tragic.

On a side note, I was hoping this renovation would include building a third side to the shower surround but apparently there isn’t enough space between the tub and the toilet to build the wall and still be code compliant.  Oh well, it was worth a shot.

I probably still won’t be able to use the shower until some time Saturday, but at least we’re making progress on that.  Using the shower at work has been fun, exciting and arousing all at the same time…  But it’s also been a pain in the ass.  There’s just not enough water pressure and I feel a bit exposed there.  I also don’t feel like I’m getting rinsed as well as I like when I’m washing off the soap because of the low pressure.  I have a hand held shower head/massager/do-hickey.  I really like having the control as to where the water is aimed and the intensity of the spray.  The hardest, most focused setting feels pretty damn good while I’m rinsing my sphincter.  Definitely not getting that while I’m using the trickle er, uh– Shower at work.  Wheeler Dealer Landlady has bought some pretty nice fixtures for my new bathroom so I’m going to give those a try before I go back to my hand held shower head but I assume even the new shower head she bought will have more pressure than this thing at work.

I’m a firm believer that every good day starts with a good wank, so I took advantage of the unusual circumstances with the shower at work again.  I gotta say, I doubt that I’m the only guy who has used that shower and has jerked off while there.  The really kinky, nasty side of me really got off on the idea that I was just adding to the… shall we say, gene pool.  Of course I’m sure the shower has been cleaned since the last time someone besides me rubbed one out in there, but it adds to the fantasy, I guess.  And speaking of fantasies…  My Fantastical Engineer, played a role again this morning.  He’s an Asian man.  He shaves his head.  And he’s about 8 inches shorter than I am.  I fantasized this morning about him servicing me.  Using his mouth to bring me to the brink, and then putting some time into my…  Undercarriage seems like a good word…  And while he was doing that, I jerked it till I came, blowing my load all over his smooth, freshly shorn head.  What a blast!  Too bad he wasn’t there to enjoy it!

Hmmm.  I seem to have gotten a bit side tracked…  Albeit a good side track.

So where was I…  Ah yes, the bathroom.  I’m thrilled with the progress Adorable Little Contractor has made today.  It feels like things are really starting to come together now.  I narrowed down my paint selections today.  There are three options of three different shades that I’ve narrowed it down to.  It doesn’t show up very well, but the sample in this picture is the most likely choice at this point. 

I’m not especially thrilled that the border pieces of the tile are far whiter than the squares, but I don’t guess there’s anything to be done about it now.

It’s not terrible but it’s not great either.  Maybe it’ll stand out less once the project is done.

The paint sample is called Livingston Olive, a light olive color.  I was not at all sure about it at Home Depot, and when Unsvelt Girl and I went to the Expo today to look at the samples against the console, it was the third choice and Unsvelt Girl thought it was too yellow.  I ended up having to come by the house right after that (Scared Kitty, somehow liberated himself from the kitchen and I had to rectify the problem.)  While we were here, I taped the samples up to the wall.  Next to the tile and in the natural sunlight it was a completely different color.  It was suddenly first choice!

Moving on.  Remember this?  Today, it looks like this… 

The medicine cabinet is also coming out.  There will be a larger mirror over the vanity and there will be a second outlet on the other side of the vanity.  The new vanity is taller than the old one but the back splash will be standard four-ish inches above the surface.  So there will be some wall repair to be done.

The next obvious step for this area is to tile, grout and seal the floor before Adorable Little Contractor can bring in the new vanity and hook up the plumbing.  The other two paint samples are in the top right corner of this picture, and while you can’t get a great look at those either, you can see that they are darker than the first choice.  The real deciding factor will be when the floor is done and the vanity is in.  The tile on the floor and the slab on top of the vanity are all the same as the shower so between that and the large window, I’d think there’d be a lot of light, however, the vanity is a dark stained wood….  Decisions, decision…

Bathroom Transformation Day Three

So there is progress…

Though still not as much as I would have expected.  Clearly there’s still to be no showering at home for me tomorrow.  Back to the engineers shower at work.  Or what I now call “the leak in the basement”.  I was shocked at how little water pressure there was.  It’s more of  trickle than a shower.

It was a kind of fun and exciting experience, thought not what I was envisioning.  The whole thing was remodeled with the rest of the building restrooms, which I was not aware of.  So the shower has been redone with all new tile and and new “shower” (trickle) head.  There is also a door on the shower that I didn’t know about, so even if my fantastical engineer, had walked in on me, he wouldn’t have seen anything….  Not that I allowed that to stop me from having my fun.  Since I’ll have to use it again tomorrow I get another chance at the fantasy, not that I think, even for a minute that anything will really happen.  Sure would be nice though.

Anyway, the tile looks good so far.  I still have to decide on a paint color.  I have some colors I like picked out but I’m just not sure which one to choose.  Unsvelt Girl Who Runs is very artsy fartsy and I think she can provide some good input.  I was going to take her, with my paint chips, to the Home Depot Expo where the Cabinetry is coming from to get her input but she had the audacity to call in sick to work today.  Apparently the Tag-Along had an emotional break-down on her during their run this morning and Unsvelt Girl was too pissed off to deal with anyone.  I can’t say I blame her.  I’m not judging!…  I ain’t be hatin’.

We’ll go tomorrow, since everything is taking longer than predicted (go figure) I’ve got at least a week to decide on paint.

Random Thoughts for a Sunday Morning.

Here are some random thoughts that have gone through my head since I woke up this morning:

1)  Transliteration.  Why does the word transliteration keep going though my head.  And why can’t I make it stop?

2)  Some people get songs stuck in their heads, I get words.  Shit!  I get songs stuck in my head too.  What is this song?  What are the words.  I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with Transliteration.

3)  What does transliteration mean? 

4)  Is it anything like Transmogrify? 

5)  What the fuck is transmogrify? 

6)  Where did I even hear that word? 

7)  Did Unsvelt Girl Who Runs, she of the copious vocabulary, tell it to me?  I think she told me she read it in a Harry Potter book.

8)  Come to think of it, i think we looked it up.  doesn’t it have something to do with changing form?

9)  Transliterate, transmogrify

10)  Shit!  There they go again!

11)  This new solitaire game I found in the apps store on my “magic iPhone by Apple” is pretty cool. 

12)  Shit!  It’s 10:15, the DirecTV Guy is supposed to be here soon to fix my reception problems.  I guess I should get out of bed and clean up.  

13)  Since I sleep naked, it’d be bad if I were still in bed when he gets here.

14)  Probably oughta put some clothes on too.  That may be how porn videos start, but not real life.  DANG IT!!!

15)  Me:  Magic 8 Ball, is my DirecTV repairman going to be sexy?

       Magic 8 Ball:  Don’t count on it.

       Damn!

16)  Transliterate, Transmography, there’s that song again.  What ARE the words!?! 

17)  I don’t want to get out of bed.

18)  Ooo.  But if i do get out of bed, I can blog about these crazy thouhts!